


Don't Stop If I Fall

by mediocrityatbest



Series: Sanders' Sides Apocalypse AU [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Human AU, Other, SO, enjoy, have fun with that, i enjoy hurting the characters, the title is from Hang 'Em High by My Chemical Romance, zombie apocalypse AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 17:52:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19399312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mediocrityatbest/pseuds/mediocrityatbest
Summary: When Virgil makes a promise, he means it. Furthermore, he always fulfills it. Even if it’s not quite in the way Patton was hoping.





	Don't Stop If I Fall

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to apologize in advance for this story. It was physically painful for me to write and also the most enjoyable thing I've written in a while. I hope you like it.

They’d been running for hours.

Or maybe Patton’s perception of time was all messed up, because he didn’t think he’d be _able_ to run for hours, no matter if his life depended on it or not. Regardless, it felt like hours, and Patton’s legs had been shaking for longer than he could remember, and he was pretty sure his feet were bleeding in his leather boots. The field-turned-desert blurred by, and just for a moment, Patton glimpsed Logan running next to him with Roman slightly behind him. The bag on Roman’s back had to be weighing him down. Patton didn’t know how he could possibly run like that. His bag and Logan’s bag were no where close to the size.

Patton began lagging, and he gasped, “I can’t - can’t run. I need - break. Please.” He felt Virgil’s hand on his back, and heard Virgil’s own panting voice urge him on.

“Just a few more minutes, Pat. A few more minutes, and we can rest. Promise. I promise.” Virgil’s hand fell away, and Patton pushed himself on. Virgil had yet to break a single promise he’d made to them. He promised they’d all make it off campus alive, and they had. He promised they’d find a working car to get them out, and they had. He’d promised they’d all live, and they had. He’d promised they’d find out how to survive, and how to defend themselves, and they had. Virgil had promised everything was going to work out and, against all odds, _it had_.

So, despite Patton’s burning lungs and shaking legs, he ran. They all did. They ran and they ran and they ran. They ran until no one could breathe, and then they stopped.

“O-okay,” Roman muttered. “They should be. . .far enough behind us now. We can. . .sleep. Restock.”

“I. . .I am unsure of that, Roman. They travel at a slightly accelerated rate. We had the advantage of traps and warning before but now-”

“Lo, stop.” Virgil pulled his bag off and began digging through it. “Eat now. We’re going to find somewhere to go and a way to get out, but we’re going to have to be smart, and that means eating.” He raised his head and gave Patton his most reassuring smile. “I promise.” Virgil passed a bag of nutrigrain bars to Roman and went back to looking in the bag.

“He’s right, Logan. Focusing on the negatives won’t get us anywhere. We just have to keep our hopes up and our minds open. We’ll find a way.” Patton forced a smile at Logan. Roman muttered an agreement and shoved the bag at him. Virgil pulled water and a map out of his bag, and sat by Logan. They began scouring the map together and Patton collapsed next to Roman, bag finally off his aching shoulders.

“It’s going to be okay, Padre.” Roman rubbed Patton’s shoulders as he leaned back. “They were the two smartest kids in the whole school. Hell, they might be the smartest people left alive. They’ll find us a way out of this.” Patton turned and gave Roman a tremulous smile.

It was funny, in a sad way, when Patton thought about the past. Before the end of everything, and before people were going crazy and killing each other for nothing, they had all been happy and normal. Patton had been friends with all three of them, and Virgil had known of Logan, but they weren’t acquainted. Patton knew they’d get along, but neither was keen on meeting new people. And Roman was always too busy with theater to ever meet anyone. Back then, he’d been the person everyone else came to for emotional help. Now it never seemed to be quite like that.

Patton remembered the day the end swept down on them like a storm. He’d been at Virgil’s on-campus apartment when it came rushing by. They hadn’t known until an hour later, when Patton was getting texted by all his friends, begging to know where he was - was he safe? could they come over? what was going on? - and he told them Virgil’s address. Logan had been the first to arrive, decked out in a lab coat splattered with red. At the time, Patton had convinced himself it was paint. Now it was easier to say it was blood. It always had been blood, and lies didn’t do anybody favors in this world.

Roman had arrived half an hour after Logan, out of breath and frantic to know that his best friend was alright. Something had happened to the theater club, and they were going crazy or something. The scratches on his face stood out bright from the stage make-up, and Patton was terrified. They all were, and none of them knew what was going on.

They were the only two of Patton’s friends that showed up. Then, Patton had hoped that they simply found shelter elsewhere, somewhere safer with their family. Now, Patton wished they had died. It would be a mercy. Now, Patton knew they were much more likely to have become one of the many _things_ chasing them through the world.

That day was years ago. Patton wondered when the details would start to fade.

“-tton? Patton, listen. We have a plan.” Virgil was waving a hand in front of his face, and Patton blinked a few times.

“Yeah, what’s up, kiddo?”

“There are mountains-”

“Foothills,” Logan cut in. Virgil waved a hand.

“Semantics, calculator watch,” Roman muttered.

“Shut up, both of you,” Virgil snapped. “There are mountains that way. If we get to them, we might have a chance. I don’t think they can climb. When we stayed in that five story building, none of them could get up the ladders and they barely managed the stairs.”

“Yes. We head for the mountains, and we find a path steep enough for us to climb but too steep for them to follow.” Logan swallowed audibly, and he almost sounded awed when he spoke again, “We might be safe there. If they cannot follow us, we could. . .have a home again.”

No one spoke for a long moment, looking down at the ground instead. The notion was just about the scariest thing Patton had heard. A home meant a place to be, and something that you couldn’t pick up and take with you when you inevitably had to run. It was tempting and revolting at the same time.

Patton wanted it desperately.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s go!” Roman posed dramatically, for morale, and helped Patton up. Virgil and Logan had all four of their bags, and they were trying to redistribute what they could. Virgil and Roman carried larger bags than Logan or Patton because they had already been stronger before the end had come. They maintained that ability, even once Logan and Patton began to lose any fat they had, left only with bare bones and thin muscles.

It wasn’t ideal, but they made it work.

In a couple minutes, the bags were packed and back on their backs. Roman had insisted he take the food for this leg of it because Virgil had been toting it for days. It was heavier and moved more than the bedding, making the whole thing harder to move with. Roman was nothing if not chivalrous, he insisted with a degree of arrogance Patton knew was feigned. Perhaps once he’d been that foolish - perhaps once they all had. Now their vices were far more serious and far less naive than arrogance.

They started off at a slow walk, and Patton watched the light die from the sky. When he was little, he was told the sun was going to bed just like he was. Patton always thought it was comforting, and it would be a happy thing to tell his own kids someday. A sort of legend, passed down from parents to children. But not anymore.

Now Patton knew the sun wasn’t going to bed, it was giving _them_ cover. The sun was taking one of the few advantages people had, and it was leaving. The light was _dying_ , and it was trying to take them all with it.

The foothills inched steadily taller in the distance, and Patton wondered how they were expecting to run up a mountain in the dark when he was barely able to stand now. Surely there was going to be debris and plants and all sorts of other things they needed to look out for on a mountain.

Unless, of course, _they_ really couldn’t get up there. In which case, maybe Patton would finally stop feeling like he was going to fall apart at any given opportunity.

Logan urged them into a jog, and Patton tried to measure the foothills in his head. He’d learned a lot of skills since the world had ended, but spacial things - like distance and size - hadn’t stuck. Nowadays, Patton could patch up a wound, stitch himself with no anesthetic, kill on instinct, and make just about anything into a weapon when he was on a time crunch. But he had no idea how tall the mountains were. In fact-

“Run!” Suddenly Logan was pulling ahead, and there were growls echoing somewhere behind them. Patton pushed his legs harder into the ground, propelling himself forward. Roman was trying to regulate his breathing like he’d taught them all to do - he’d been in track during high school. He had a lot more experience with running, at first. Now any of them could give him a run for his money.

Virgil was running beside Patton, and their arms moved in synchronicity. Virgil’s left pulled back and Patton’s right pushed forward. Virgil took a step in time with Patton. They both went forward like they were reaching for the golden fruit.

Patton wished there was a golden fruit at the end of this race. They had one apple, and it was made mostly of bruises.

Roman pulled a little farther ahead, and Patton matched their breathing. Whatever Roman was doing to pull off this sprint after the marathon they’d just run, he was doing it right. Patton needed some of it.

The next time Patton looked left, there was nobody there.

“Virgil!” The scream bounced around them, and it didn’t even matter because the things were already closing in. Patton froze and almost over-balanced before spinning in place. He couldn’t see him anywhere. Virgil was gone, Virgil was gone and-

Logan careened by Patton, and then he saw the lump on the ground. They both collapsed near Virgil, and Roman stood watch over them.

“Get him up. Hurry. Get him up,” he muttered. Patton pushed Virgil into a sitting position, and Virgil hissed.

“What happened, kiddo?” Patton tried to push Virgil up more, to get him on his feet, but Virgil wasn’t moving.

“Tripped. There was a branch, I think.” He slowly looked down. Patton glanced at the mass that was gaining ground.

“Virgil, it is pertinent that you get up. Now. We need to move.” Logan, who rarely lost his composure since those first few weeks, was pulling roughly at Virgil’s shoulder, trying to stand him up.

“Yeah, Virge, c’mon. Move.” Roman didn’t take his eyes off the approaching horde, but he was pulling on Virgil’s hood. Virgil hesitated, and then he grabbed Roman’s hand and pulled himself up. Patton grabbed his other hand, tugging forward, and Virgil took a step and fell again.

“Virgil! Please, kiddo, you need to get up, come on, Virge.” None of them were looking at Virgil, or how pale he was. None of them saw him staring at his ankle in abject horror. None of them saw the angle that his foot was resting at.

“Run.” Virgil thrust the map into Roman’s hand. All three of them froze.

“Virgil, what. . .” Logan saw his ankle. It was a clear break.

“You need to run. Now. If you stay here any longer you won’t be getting away.” Virgil shifted his bag into his lap and dug through it. He shoved a few of the blankets at them. “Take these and go.”

“No no no, we can support you. Virge, we can carry you there. Just get up. Please, just get up.” Patton pulled at Virgil’s arm, and Virgil shook his head. He wouldn’t look at Patton.

“I’ll slow you down. You need to go.”

“We’ll leave the bags and I’ll carry you, Virgil. C’mon, you know I’m strong enough,” Roman pleaded.

“No!” he snapped. “If you carry me, we’re down two supply bags so we can starve _and_ freeze, and that’s assuming you can outrun _them_ while carrying _me_! Which, newsflash, you can’t!” He stuffed the map back into Roman’s shaking fist.

“Virgil, we can-”

“We can’t.” Virgil didn’t leave room for argument. The screams felt close enough to be touching them. “You have to run. You have to-” his voice broke, “leave me.” Virgil rubbed his face. Patton was frozen on his knees, staring at Virgil like he’d suggested that the sky was made of rubber chickens. “My ankle is broken. There’s no running for me, guys. You have to go, now, while you still can. Please.”

“Virgil, we can’t-” Patton’s words shattered and a sob burst through his teeth.

“You’re going to be okay, Patton. You’re going to live,” Virgil said gently. He caressed Patton’s face.

“I-I-” Roman stuttered off, staring from Virgil to the _things_ and back. His eyes became glassy, and Roman kissed the top of Virgil’s head, sweat and tears tasting the same on his tongue. “I love you, Virge. We’ll see you soon.”

“Not too soon, huh?” Virgil squeezed Roman’s hand. Logan, kneeling on Virgil’s side, pressed his head into Virgil’s.

“You are an entirely incorrigible disaster, Virgil Taylor.”

“What’s to improve, specs?” Virgil rubbed his head against Logan’s, a language Patton had watched them develop as soon as they met. They communicated in a way all their own.

Logan stood, and Patton saw droplets on the lenses of his glasses. He could also see how terrifyingly close the _things_ were getting, and this wasn’t right. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. They were _all_ supposed to make it. This was wrong. This _wasn’t right_.

“Patton, Patton, you need to go, okay? Go with them. You have to run, Patton. You have to run for me, okay? Because my ankle’s broken and I can’t run for myself right now. So I need you to do it for me.” Tears were in Virgil’s eyes, and Patton shook his head. He couldn’t just leave him here like this, pain and fear glimmering in eyes once so bright. “Patton, you have to.” Patton felt the other two grab his arms and pull him up, and he never thought he had it in himself to hate someone he loved quite so much.

“No! No, Virgil! Please!” Patton pulled against them, but he was small and they’d been running for so long he wasn’t sure he would ever walk again. “I can’t do this without you! Virgil, please!”

“Patton, it’s going to be okay. Do you hear me, Pat? It’s going to be alright. It’s going to be fine.” Virgil looked in Patton’s eyes, and Patton stopped struggling. “I promise, Patton. Everything’s going to be okay. But you have to run now. You have to run, and you have to get far, far away from here. Don’t look back, Patton. You run and you run and you do not look back. Okay? Just go.” Tears streamed down Virgil’s face. “Run, Pat. Don’t look at me, okay? It’s going to be alright, I promise. Just run. Run!”

Patton staggered around and he put one foot in front of the other. He was putting so much distance between him and Virgil, and he didn’t know how it was going to be okay, but Virgil had promised, and Virgil didn’t break his promises. Virgil only promised what was true. But that didn’t explain the sobbing, uneven breaths coming from Roman, and it didn’t explain the blanket clutched tightly in Logan’s arm. Nothing could explain Logan squeezing Patton’s hand to the point of breaking, despite all those times Logan had told them holding hands while running actually slowed you down.

Nothing could explain anything. All Patton felt was fear, and even that wasn’t making sense.

Roman grabbed Patton’s other hand, tugging him forward. They were all three sprinting toward something - Patton didn’t know what; he couldn’t remember and he couldn’t care. All Patton was aware of was the howling coming from behind them.

And then the screams.

They were blood-curdling, and Patton whimpered as they rose in volume. He didn’t want to think about what was making them, even though he knew that it wasn’t a what. It was a _who_.

The screams suddenly gurgled and cut off. _They_ suddenly seemed much quieter too. Patton couldn’t help himself - he had to turn around. He had to see what was going on. He couldn’t just assume that he knew, because there was too much room left for doubt. Logan always said that if you couldn’t see it, you couldn’t know for sure.

So Patton twisted his head around, still being pulled by Roman and Logan. He heard a high-pitched whine coming from somewhere, but nothing was registering. Nothing except for the mass huddled in a pile, tearing at something. He thought he could see fresh red staining their faces though he was too far away to see that kind of detail. He thought he could see something struggle. If he really focused, he thought he could hear a whisper of a scream, some plea for help. Maybe it wasn’t too late, maybe-

“Patton, stop pulling - away.” Roman was gasping. His hand was sweaty in Patton’s. “I kn-know it hurts, but. . .but we can’t go ba-ack for him. Please, Padre, just keep running.” Logan tightened his grip on Patton’s hand, like a reassurance that they were all going to be okay, like everything was going to be fine.

But that’s what Virgil had said, what Virgil had _promised_ , and he had lied. Nothing was ever going to be okay again. They would never have a home again. Without Virgil, without all four of them, together and _living_ , nothing could ever possibly be okay or home again. They had lived and breathed every traumatic experience and every lucky break together for the last five years, and now he was expected to go on without a part of himself? He’d be better off without a leg to run on!

Tears poured down Patton’s face, and he didn’t know when they stopped running. Patton didn’t know when they reached the mountains or the foothills or whatever they were, and he didn’t know when they began the uphill struggle. Patton didn’t know when they finally made it, and Patton didn’t know when they stopped. He didn’t care. He felt pain and numbness at the same time.

He did hear Logan say, “We’re safe,” before bursting into tears and almost shattering his glasses into his own eyes. He did hear Roman sit down next to him, map clutched in one fist and expression blank. He did see the sky begin to lighten, the very first oranges and baby blues coloring the world. He did see a clear day and a part of the world seemingly untouched by horror.

Patton sat in bloodless grass and cried, making no noise, because he saw everything Virgil could have had. He saw exactly how everything could have been fine. He saw it all, and all he could do was cry. Virgil had made them one last promise: everything’s going to be okay. And it was now. The sky was blue and the grass was green and Patton was finally safe. After years of struggling and fear, they were finally safe. And Virgil was nowhere to be seen, and nothing had ever been less okay.


End file.
